永恆｜斷裂

昨夜。夢。

我的永恆戒指碎了。

它沒有遺失，也沒有

悄無聲息地滑落。

沒有遺忘我。

——只是，碎了。

靜靜地，毫無徵兆地——

無法承受。崩解。

從環繞到散落。

畫面仍在。醒著也看得見。

像是某種殘留物。

——不屬於清醒，也不是夢。

一種在表面之下的共鳴。

無聲的意識。

那枚戒指。

現實裡，我剛修好它。

幾週前，一顆不見的鑽石，

由一雙老練的手——慢慢地，安放。

但這戒指，

它懂，它記得。

它戴在手上，像個秘密。

「這細緻的戒指，彎曲又脆弱。」

工匠不願意規正它。

如果它再碎呢？

還能被允許，再一次修復嗎？

還有人會說：

「這值得。」嗎？

重組的代價是什麼？

——時間、金錢、技術，

還有那份難以命名的等待。

「這次還會成功嗎？」

安靜的。漫長的。

那種無聲的等待，

像是把希望慢慢捏薄，放進一封信裡。

日子像抽屜一樣被推緊了。

現實塞進來，壓住了縫。

你我在其中，

壓縮成一個勉強可以運作的形狀。

像一枚戒指。

被現實壓成不自然的樣子。

試圖撐住自己，

將生活重組得像沒事一樣。

但有些東西滲了出來——

從邊緣，從指縫，從夜裡。

那些夢，說的不是戒指。

修復過的東西，

記得它碎過。

有些記憶，是縫隙的形狀。

所有碎片收起來，藏好，黏著。

但仍有東西在滲漏。

輕輕撥動，

像夢境那樣脆弱，又真實。

像某種殘響。

這個夢，不是預告毀滅。

它是一面鏡子。

一封信。它說：

修復過的東西，

記得它碎過。

有些完整，

不是原始的模樣，

而是帶著裂縫的靜默存在。

被重組、被包容、被小心捧著——

仍然在發光。

仍值得，被好好戴著。

30 May 2025

Affirmation for a Daughter’s Healing and Boundaries

I acknowledge the journey I have walked and I affirm that I have shown up with patience, love and compassion.  

I recognise that I have done my best as a daughter, offering kindness even in moments of pain and confusion.  

I release any lingering guilt or self-criticism, knowing that I am not responsible for the emotions or actions of others.  

I forgive myself for any moment of frustration, understanding that I am human and deserving of the same grace I extend to others.

I choose to value myself, my emotions and my well-being.  

I will not allow myself to be hurt by anyone’s anger, sadness or dissatisfaction.  

I refuse to let others' pain or unhappiness define my self-worth.  

Even in the face of difficulty, I remain strong, grounded and centred in my own truth.  

I commit to treating myself with kindness, to embracing my flaws and strengths alike and to creating space for my healing.

I honour my emotions but I will not be consumed by them.  

I release the impulse to hurt myself in moments of despair, knowing that I am worthy of love and protection, especially from myself.  

When I am overwhelmed, I will reach for understanding, not harm.  

I choose life, growth and resilience, even in the darkest of times.

As I care for myself, I also send out wishes of healing and peace to my mother.  

Though her pain may be deep and her words sometimes sharp, I recognise that they are not a reflection of me.  

I understand that she carries her own burdens, shaped by her past and her struggles.  

I wish her the clarity to see her own worth and the courage to face her inner turmoil with compassion.  

May she find the strength to embrace growth and change, while still holding onto the love she is capable of giving.

May she discover joy and contentment, not through others, but from within her own heart.

I will continue to love her, but I will honour my own needs and well-being in the process.  

I release the pressure to be a source of her happiness or to carry the weight of her struggles.  

While I wish her healing, I know that her journey is her own, and I trust her to find her own way.  

I offer support where I can, but I will nurture myself as well, knowing that I must also prioritise my own growth and peace.

I now reaffirm my commitment to myself:  

I choose peace, not conflict.  

I choose love, not harm.  

I choose growth, not stagnation.  

I choose boundaries, not submission.

In moments of challenge, I will return to these truths.  

I am enough. I am worthy. I am strong.  

I deserve the space to heal and grow, and I will protect that space with grace and wisdom.  

I walk forward with hope and confidence, trusting that I am on the right path, and that I will continue to find strength within.

Inspiring Poet – Maya Angelou

Two inspiring poems and talks by Maya Angelou.

Angelou’s warning on losing one’s voice, “It’s dangerous to be silent. … Mutism is like a drug. It’ is so addictive because don’t need to do anything.”  Remember well!

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings

The free bird leaps
on the back of the win
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wings
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings
with fearful trill
of the things unknown
but longed for still
and is tune is heard
on the distant hillfor the caged bird
sings of freedom

The free bird thinks of another breeze
an the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn
and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing

The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

2012龍年台南城隍廟籤

陽世做事未和同
雲遮月色正朦朧
心中意欲前途去
只恐命內運未通

Marketing & SCRUM

Mr. Kuei proposed a SCRUM wall at home.

“How is it different from the Beautiful Mind”, I asked.

“No strings,” he said.

“But I like stringing objects together,” I said. “And do we have prettier options than white boards?”

He went mad, “You can’t be agile! And forget about a beautiful wall, it’s functional.”

“You don’t get it. Beauty is a transcendental knowledge. It elevates your level.”

The wall issue is not yet resolved.

閱讀【海浪的記憶】

夏曼‧藍波安的【海浪的記憶】，催動著我思鄉的情潮，雖然我的家不在蘭嶼。

他的作品裡，參雜著一種原始卻真切的語言。光吃魚這件事，就道出許多親子之間與傳承。這讓我開始想念，小時候，媽媽煎的，稍微抹了鹽巴的，金黃酥脆的魚。

而我現在，還是不會煎魚，也沒有什麼可以傳遞下去。

記憶中，南台灣的臉般大肥厚的煎虱目魚，和巴掌大扁扁的不知名的魚。這就是生活在國外，我所失落的傳承和記憶嗎?

閱讀【酥油】

花了幾夜和周末的一些時間讀完【酥油】，吞噬文字到最後有點勉強。

雖然作者文筆流暢，情節編排緊湊，但【酥油】不論是以小說，或是半自傳性的創作文學定位，都無法打動我的心。

主人翁梅朵滿腔的熱血，自始至終，圍繞著以漢人為中心點的思考模式。這期間的敘事者的心路轉換十分薄弱。而西藏的孤兒問題，或者說西藏的靈魂，也只碰觸到表徵。

讀完【酥油】，覺得有點遺憾。這遺憾，就像梅朵和月光最終平行的生命一樣，我難以與這本書產生共鳴。我一開始期待被觸及感動，但我沒有。

Rating: **