婚姻裡的博愛座

「親愛的，以前你看到我冷，話不說，就會把夾克脫下來遞給我；即使在冬天，你只穿著一件T-shirt和皮夾克，也是一樣。怎麼我現在一直喊冷，你一點動作也沒有？我只穿著一件上衣，你穿了T-shirt,毛衣和大衣 欸！」Ｙ

「我現在老了，也會怕冷。要尊敬老人。」Ｋ

「愛情裡也要尊敬老人?」Ｙ

「嗯，博愛。」Ｋ

桂先生對博愛的瞭解，應該是源自博愛座吧？

Jan 9, 2011

You can’t trust people who create Facebook profiles for their pets.

(continued from previous discussion on remebering rubbish)

“Why did you ask for Misty’s and Sparky’s birthday?” Y.

“I was trying to create Facebook pages for them but I can’t because they must be at least 18 years old. They would not be 18 even if they were still alive.” K.

“Oh, but I heard that there are people who created profiles for their pet?” Y.

“Yes, there are. They lied. See the Terms and Conditions.” K.

“Oh dear, you can’t trust people who create pet pages on Facebook.” Y.

You remember rubbish

1. You remember rubbish

“What is the birthday of Misty and Sparky?” K.

“31st of May, 2002.” Y.

“How did you know?” K.

“Why did you ask to begin with?” Y.

“How?” K.

“Don’t you know me after those years?” Y.

“You asked me the question but you don’t trust me?” Y.

“How?” K.

“Each of us has the capacity to remember everything we had ever seen or heard. The trick is how you retrieve it. Is this beyond your capacity? Ha-Ha-Ha.” Y pointed at K’s dumb head.

“It was a question of compliment, you know?” K smiled wryly.

“Oh, O.K. I remember certain details every well. An acquaintance was once amazed that I actually remembered certain details of our first introduction years after we talked again. I noticed that I usually remember imageries, lighting and the ambiance. Do you know what I mean...?” Y murmured.

“Yes, I was impressed. You remember rubbish.” K.

“Shush, just think that I was born with a poetic mind.” Y.

2. No, you remember rubbish.

“I hate it when people are sluggish with their spelling - confusing then / than, to / two, there / their.” K.

“Do you find poor pronunciation annoying?” Y.

“No.” K

“Why should you find poor spelling more irritating than poor pronunciation?” Y

“It is a case of laziness rather than willingness.” K

“Do you imply that pronunciation is harder?” Y

“No. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is very easy to pronounce.” K.

“Super... I can’t pronounce that. What does it mean?” Y

“It doesn’t mean anything.” K

“How do you remember it?” Y

“I just do.” K claimed proudly.

“You remember rubbish.” Y.

3. You remember rubbish and I will tell you why.

“I am going to blog it. Can you email me the spelling of that super-thing?” Y.

“Google!” K.

“S-u-p-e-r... how it is going to come up?” Y.

“You had no idea about searching.” K.

“Google: Mary Poppins.” K added.

“I searched what I like.”

“Just do MARY POPPINS!” K said impatiently.

“Look the auto-suggestion. It (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious) is not on the top of the search list. How far do I need to go with the exact spelling for it to come up?

By typing the word you just accurately remembered and pronounced, what does it tell you? What you remember is totally unnatural, irrelevant and rubbish!” Y.

“If your criteria is come up on top of the list within 3 letters, its SEX.” K raised his volume.

4. He concludes it crudely.

Jan 7, 2011

Dalai Lama’s Social Media Strategy

I had an epiphany.

It became clear when I saw the photo of His Holiness the Dalai Lama taking part in his “first” video conference on January 4th, 2011.

His Holiness’ radiant smile was in face of a 17” Macbook Pro. There are three things that Dalai and I have in common. First, we are Macbook users.

His Holiness’ utensil, of course, is of grander model because it is the Ultimate Mobile Studio.

The day before the epiphany, an 1,176-word article was news-fed to me. It was His Holiness’ wisdom released on the night of December 31, 2010.

I need to confirm with my PR advisers if the Hindu journalists are expectedly absent from mid December like... The 1,176-word article did not appear in the Hindustan Times on January 3, 2011. I speculate that it was a matter of strategic timing.

There was something unique about this 1,176 article. And I meant something rather literal. I shall confirm the exact details in a statistical fashion following a further investigation. After all, we are all scrutinizing readers - except that I don’t have one.[1]

[Footnote 1: I blog for blog’s sake and my lack of momentum meant that I have lost my friendly readers - my friends really - over time. I do have a recent addition of two fans. And when they virtually pulled you over, asking: “Why aren’t you writing? Where are the photos? Did you see my (one-liner) reply to your email?”, it was rather overwhelming, disregarding that I do have weekly video calls with my fan base. “Dad, I have a job.”]

I meant there was reoccurring similarity, not in the article itself, but with the a number of “previous” “status”-es appearing in my News Feed. I am a Facebooker if you are lost by now. I believe that a good number of His Holiness’ words of wisdoms had been fed to me during 2010. I do not remember since when; when I clicked on “Like Dalai Lama.[2]

[Footnote 2: “Mr. Zuckerberg, would you please give me analytics on myself since I diarize with Facebook everyday? It has also become my news and entertainment gateway. Right now, I need to do some research. I do not wish to speak to the Police to find out how they solve the crimes through Facebook. I do not any resources of which are more straining than the Public Sector.]

I speculated that His Holiness’ possibly-voluntary marketing guru ghost wrote the article - hopefully not through an outsourcing or subcontracting arrangement, purely because an epiphany a day is sufficient for my little mind.

The storyboard went: His guru drafted an article a night in 2009. It blossomed to various forms across multiple channels. It reached many, including a little one via Facebook.

The epiphany: His Holiness Dalai Lama has a social media strategy.

Albeit that having a social media strategy is not one of the other two things that Dalai and I have in common, I’d like to suggest His Holiness’ marketing guru[3] to change the “category” of Dalai Lama group[Footnote 4] from “Local Business.” That is not how His Holiness is “positioned”[Footnote 5] in my mind.

[Footnote 3: “Mr. Guru, please call me if you have any questions.”]
[Footnote 4: “Why did I say ‘group’?! I am not a communist! I need to clarify that it’s a Facebook grouping.
[Footnote 5: “Mr. Guru, please call me if you have any questions.”] {{Note of Footnote 5}}

{{Note of Footnote 5: “Mr. Guru, you are welcome to call (reconfirming) as I would be delighted to contribute to the group with my profession. Most important of all, through our collaboration, I hope we can… and it would be my privilege to meet and talk with His Holiness in person.”

Now, how do I get His dear Holiness to call me?

“Dear Dalai, I am very compassionate and believe that we have shared something fundamental in common that you often…”

(1 of N)

Edward has a heart

"Do you love me with all your heart?" Y asked.
"I don't have a heart. I am Edward the Scissorhand." K said.
"In that case, I love you with my foot." Y responded, lifting her leg to kick.
"Oh...hang on...Edward has a heart. He doesn’t have hands. Was it a trick statement? You wanker! " Y screamed.
"Don't be silly." K said.
"Who are you?" Y asked. Investigatively.

Jan 5, 2011

2010，莎呦那拉！

【2010三大新希望】

1. 陪伴家人 ✓
2. 多運動 x
3. 開拓新職業生涯 ✓

2010年初，我離開穩定又拘泥的職業，回台灣過了一個長假。這是我成為上班奴之後的第一個悠長假期。

一則是繼2009日本行後，想多陪伴日漸衰老的父母。二則是對生活與工作疲倦，極需尋找新能量與契機。

最大收穫:
1. 與爸媽過共度南台灣仿如夏天的冬天。
2. 滿足中文飢渴，猛看租書屋裡的小說、漫畫、雜誌與散文。雖然選擇有限，但好划算啊!

至於多運動，很羞愧地，又是虎頭蛇尾…三日捕魚五日曬網…無疾而終…

七月份時，開始英國的新工作。公司人口與之前相比，有N千倍之差，營業額少幾個零，我就算不清楚了。依照我求變的標準，到是一派新鮮。希望漸入佳境！

【2010雜七雜八紀】

愛家：

1. 至親：阿母健康稍好，不按時看病令人擔憂。阿爸還是很幽默。
2. 夫妻：邁入N年。
3. 手足：阿咬到英國讀書啦！

愛喵：

八月十二號的凌晨，獲知梅鐸發生車禍，接下來的日子，壓力極大卻又脆弱。誰說這些動物伴侶，不是家庭的一份子呢?雖然醫藥費不斐，基於愛與義，我和桂先生，同意作該作的事。說對貓有愛有義，孔子會責我不類吧。

愛屋：

1. 1F(中文的二樓)廚房和客廳，個塗了一面主題牆。顏色叫作GARNET SYMPHONY NUMBER 5(石榴石交響曲第五號)。http://www.dulux.co.uk/servlet/ColourAvailabilityHandler?name=garnet_symphony_3
2. 2F(中文的三樓)的房間和書房，塗了Peppermint Beach 3(薄荷沙灘三號）。http://www.dulux.co.uk/servlet/ColourAvailabilityHandler?name=peppermint_beach_3
   (照片以後補上)

愛物：

1. Roger Vivier “Belle de Jour” （羅傑維維亞的日美人）
2. Osim uSofa Petite (林志林代言的小按摩椅）
3. Amway e-Spring (安麗的淨水器)
4. Amazon Kindle (亞馬遜的電子書)

想到以前讀書拿爸媽的血汗錢，用起來很心疼。
自己賺的錢，真的比較敢花。

愛書：

想到什麼列什麼+五星評比

神之雫	*****
目送	****
1Q84	***
大江大海一九四九	*****
忠臣逆子	**
台灣花布	***
森之眠魚	**
孤獨六講	**
The Four Hour Work Week	***
Irrationally Predictable	***
The Millennium Trilogy	*****

當然，還有睡前的英文情詩，無限美好。

【結】

媽媽請妳也保重 詞：文夏  若想起故鄉目屎就流落來 免掛意請妳放心 我的阿母 雖然是孤單一個 雖然是孤單一個 我也來到他鄉的這個省都 不過我是真勇健的 媽媽請妳也保重 月光暝想要寫信來寄給妳 希望會平安過日 我的阿母 想彼時強強離開 想彼時強強離開 我也來到他鄉的這個省都 不過我是真打拼的 媽媽請妳也保重 寒冷的冬天夏天的三更暝 請保重不通傷風 我的阿母 期待著早日相會 期待著早日相會 我也來到他鄉的這個省都 不過我是會返去的 媽媽請妳也保重

1. 親情純粹又百味雜陳。只能大聲說「阿爸、阿母，請您們要好好保重！」
2. 錢不是職業的最終目的。依照一位同學的說法，賺錢是為了「創造更好的生活」。長假後，好像比較能接受回到工作崗位的現實。
3. 我期許在職業和生活上，不要失去自信、勇敢，還有自己，並且知所進退。
4. 新年新希望，說穿是個人目標。「有耕耘就有收穫」的道理，我覺得還是要感謝天。感謝天，有求必應，好極了！

【特紀】

一直很關心照顧我的老朋友，身體出了狀況。能夠相識相惜的朋友，難得。我希望你好，郎中。